Today I want to share with you where the story is now. So, for your reading pleasure, here is the second step in the evolution of a short story. Rough story first, and then the background knowledge/World rules after that. It is important to set the ground rules before you write the story so you know what you can and cannot do for climaxes, roadblocks, and solutions.
Story:
Coronation and Ceremony
The hermit measured his steps on the long road, leaning on his gnarled cane when needed. His robe was a worn, yellow-ish crème color, though he could easily afford a newer one.
Apprentice Caden paced restlessly by his side. His robe was sparkling white. Even burdened by the pack on his back, Caden could have easily gone twice as fast, but he maintained a close distance to Father Barosh, who was also known by his official title, The Senior Emissary of the Sun.
Just two week ago, Caden had been apprentice to the third assistant Chandler. His duties had included delivering candles to other temples and merchants, not people. But circumstances changed after the Coronation of the New Sun, and here he was, shepherding the oldest Emissary he had ever seen. It was something of an honor, as this same man had presided over the Coronation. They were now on their way to another. As witness only, this time.
“Hurry up, Father. We don’t want to be late!” Other travelers, presumably headed to the same destination, passed them by. Some flew overhead, even though the sun was still above the horizon. It always puzzled the young apprentice how moonpower worked, even though the Sacred Sun was still in the sky. The Chandler had explained to him that it was because the moon was up in the heavens as well. As long as the moon was up there, moonpower worked. Caden looked, but saw no moon in the sky. Only the Sacred Sun.
“They won’t start without us, son,” Father Barosh said, interrupting his search. “No need to worry or hurry.”
“Where is the moon, Father?”
Without looking up from the road, Father Barosh responded. “It is hidden from us. The Ceremony of Moons is always performed during what they call the New Moon, when the moon is hidden in the sky.”
“Why?”
“Their ways are different from ours, son. While we have a Sun until he loses the Challenge, their rulers can serve again and again, just not continuously. They change as the moon changes, and that includes returning to things as they once were, much like the moon changes yet looks the same.”
“But why during the New Moon? Why are they doing it near the same time as the Challenge and Coronation? Why couldn’t they wait?”
“Perhaps you will find the answer to your question during the ceremony, young one.”
They continued walking. They had ridden much of the distance from the capitol, but the hermit insisted on walking the last stretch of the road. The ceremony would take place in the larger temple south of Trew, the nearest town.
The sun was setting as the temple’s outer walls appeared ahead. Caden looked at the Emissary in confusion, unsure, thinking it blasphemous to perform the sacred rights so close to a moon temple, but Father Barosh impelled him to his task with a wave of his hand. A few of the other travelers paused and watched respectfully as the apprentice performed the Farewell to the Sun for both himself and the Emissary. No one joined in. The hermit rested behind him on a boulder.
Hefting the pack back onto his shoulders, the apprentice and the Emissary continued on in the twilight. People were rushing passed them now, eager to get a good seat for the ceremony soon to commence.
As the night grew stronger, it could be seen that the hermit was glowing slightly.
“Welcome honored guests. We are gathered here under the Hidden Luna, to change leadership from one to another. Just as Luna changes, so must we.”
Father Barosh, in his official capacity as Senior Emissary of the Sun, bestows the gift to the New Moon Mother as part of the ceremony. Earlier in the month, he had presided over the Coronation of the New Sun. It was a special duty of the Senior Emissary to bear a gift and to witness the ceremonies when they both occur in the same month.
Father Barosh and Apprentice Caden witness the peaceful turnover from old moon to new (coronation of the Moon mother). He had been present for the last four change overs occurring at the same time as the Challenge (24 years). [Dialogue here should foreshadow radiation discovery, and deterioration of the relationship between Sun and Moon]
***Five years pass***
He ran toward the sunset, toward Death.
Witches had flown out of the sky an hour after sunset, when even the last light of the Holy Sun was gone.
With no warning they overthrew the defenses and ransacked the temple. They flew among the columns and the rooms open to the air. Amber was depleted defending the temple, but losses among the witches were few. No one expected the witches to attack this temple! There was no cause! It was a quiet place, away from the mainstream, just full of hermits.
The Invisible Sun
He had dangerous knowledge, knowledge that would tip the balance in the Sun’s favor even more. His life was forfeit every night. In order to survive, he must find safe places, and workarounds for not being able to call on the sun in shade or shadow, and later on during the darkest nights. Stolen pieces of amber and sunflower seeds help. Sun magic can only be done while in sunlight.
He saw them. Witches in the sky. He ran. As he ran, his mind flashed back to his fever dream. He had been out in the sun too long, become delirious, but in his delirium, he realized that the sun must give out invisible rays that make it through the clouds and other barriers. These invisible rays could be used by those who knew of them. They gave even greater power to the sun mages. This is the knowledge that would cost him his life if the witches and warlocks found him.
He comes across a small village, where a mother is ready to give birth. He hides nearby and listens as he recovers and hydrates.
“Hurry! It’s almost noon!”
The midwife was an island of calm. “Nature must take its course, good sir. We cannot deliver the baby early or late, but only on time.” The hermit nodded, unseen. Countless stories are told of what happens if babies are forcibly born early or late. No power. The Sun does not like being played with.
Another male tried to cheer up the expectant father. “Maybe the witch was wrong? We can hope, right?”
The father-to-be stared at the stick. The stick’s shadow slowly disappeared. He yelled through the doorway to the midwife, “I don’t care what you have to do but get that baby out now!”
“Push!”
“Ahhh!”
The high-pitched cry of a newborn babe came through the doorway. “Waa! Waa!”
“It’s a girl.” He let out the breath he had been holding longer than he realized.
His friend sighed. “Ah geez. All that effort for nothing! A girl! During the day even! What a waste.”
“Uh-uh.” The father said nothing more as he paced back and forth, waiting to see his new child.
“Damn. An Untouched. Maybe you can marry her off?”
The father’s face told a different story. “I will love her, of course.”
The infant is brought out. He holds the precious bundle in his arms. “She is perfect. Not a boy, but she is already my heart and soul.” He smiled while his best friend scowled. “We will call her Anna.”
The hermit wasted some of his power and gave a blessing of invigoration and growth to the new child. She would be powerless, because women were not blessed with power from the Sun, and the moon was not in the sky, but she would be strong and healthy.
The Hermit continued running. He hoped to make it to neutral ground. A stone marker caught his eye. It was half-buried in the dirt by the roadside. He rubbed his hand over the carving depicting a bundle of reeds.
He was headed in the right direction.
He limped along, digging deep into his reserves to find the strength to continue.
Shadows appeared in the trees on either side of him. Unnatural shadows. They paced him, angling to intercept him before he reached his goal.
He limped faster.
The Place of the Reeds
He collapsed on the cold stones.
The shadows howled, but they dared not touch him now. Defeated, they slinked toward the large temple to the west.
As the night grew stronger, it could be seen that the hermit was glowing slightly.
“Welcome honored guests. We are gathered here under the Hidden Luna, to change leadership from one to another. Just as Luna changes, so must we.”
Father Barosh, in his official capacity as Senior Emissary of the Sun, bestows the gift to the New Moon Mother as part of the ceremony. Earlier in the month, he had presided over the Coronation of the New Sun. It was a special duty of the Senior Emissary to bear a gift and to witness the ceremonies when they both occur in the same month.
Father Barosh and Apprentice Caden witness the peaceful turnover from old moon to new (coronation of the Moon mother). He had been present for the last four change overs occurring at the same time as the Challenge (24 years). [Dialogue here should foreshadow radiation discovery, and deterioration of the relationship between Sun and Moon]
***Five years pass***
He ran toward the sunset, toward Death.
Witches had flown out of the sky an hour after sunset, when even the last light of the Holy Sun was gone.
With no warning they overthrew the defenses and ransacked the temple. They flew among the columns and the rooms open to the air. Amber was depleted defending the temple, but losses among the witches were few. No one expected the witches to attack this temple! There was no cause! It was a quiet place, away from the mainstream, just full of hermits.
The Invisible Sun
He had dangerous knowledge, knowledge that would tip the balance in the Sun’s favor even more. His life was forfeit every night. In order to survive, he must find safe places, and workarounds for not being able to call on the sun in shade or shadow, and later on during the darkest nights. Stolen pieces of amber and sunflower seeds help. Sun magic can only be done while in sunlight.
He saw them. Witches in the sky. He ran. As he ran, his mind flashed back to his fever dream. He had been out in the sun too long, become delirious, but in his delirium, he realized that the sun must give out invisible rays that make it through the clouds and other barriers. These invisible rays could be used by those who knew of them. They gave even greater power to the sun mages. This is the knowledge that would cost him his life if the witches and warlocks found him.
He comes across a small village, where a mother is ready to give birth. He hides nearby and listens as he recovers and hydrates.
“Hurry! It’s almost noon!”
The midwife was an island of calm. “Nature must take its course, good sir. We cannot deliver the baby early or late, but only on time.” The hermit nodded, unseen. Countless stories are told of what happens if babies are forcibly born early or late. No power. The Sun does not like being played with.
Another male tried to cheer up the expectant father. “Maybe the witch was wrong? We can hope, right?”
The father-to-be stared at the stick. The stick’s shadow slowly disappeared. He yelled through the doorway to the midwife, “I don’t care what you have to do but get that baby out now!”
“Push!”
“Ahhh!”
The high-pitched cry of a newborn babe came through the doorway. “Waa! Waa!”
“It’s a girl.” He let out the breath he had been holding longer than he realized.
His friend sighed. “Ah geez. All that effort for nothing! A girl! During the day even! What a waste.”
“Uh-uh.” The father said nothing more as he paced back and forth, waiting to see his new child.
“Damn. An Untouched. Maybe you can marry her off?”
The father’s face told a different story. “I will love her, of course.”
The infant is brought out. He holds the precious bundle in his arms. “She is perfect. Not a boy, but she is already my heart and soul.” He smiled while his best friend scowled. “We will call her Anna.”
The hermit wasted some of his power and gave a blessing of invigoration and growth to the new child. She would be powerless, because women were not blessed with power from the Sun, and the moon was not in the sky, but she would be strong and healthy.
The Hermit continued running. He hoped to make it to neutral ground. A stone marker caught his eye. It was half-buried in the dirt by the roadside. He rubbed his hand over the carving depicting a bundle of reeds.
He was headed in the right direction.
He limped along, digging deep into his reserves to find the strength to continue.
Shadows appeared in the trees on either side of him. Unnatural shadows. They paced him, angling to intercept him before he reached his goal.
He limped faster.
The Place of the Reeds
He collapsed on the cold stones.
The shadows howled, but they dared not touch him now. Defeated, they slinked toward the large temple to the west.
He rested there on the stones, enjoying the chill they brought to his bones.
He knew where he was. He was on the Avenue of the Skies. It was a broad pathway of large stones that ran east to west, with a Temple of the Sun at the East end of the pathway and a Temple of the Moon at the west end. Smaller pyramids for the other powers in the sky were on either side of him, lining the pathway between the two large temples at the ends. The Sun temple ruins to his left was larger than all the other temples combined. This was the Place of Reeds, an ancient set of ruins built long ago.
The ruins are neutral ground, where meetings used to be held between followers of the Sun and followers of the Moon. The hermit remembered his training. The original builders are unknown but assumed to be Sun worshippers because of the pyramids, which followers of the moon do not build. Many believe that Followers of the Sun built the entire place as a peace offering.
The ruins were originally signified by carved images of a bundle of reeds tied together with a cord. The original name has been long lost. It has long been referred to as the Place of Reeds. It is thought that the carvings signified it was a good place for growing food and that many people were welcome.
Eclipse
The Day mages were charged with anger. “Chase the witches all the way to the ocean if you have to!”
First rule of war: Choose the battlefield. They ‘retreated’ toward the shore, toward the ocean.
The witches knew. They were in touch with the phases of the moon. They knew what was coming. The Heliomancers only cared that the sun would rise each day.
The Old Moon, the Moon Aunts and the soon-to-be Moon Mother led the fight.
The water crashed further inland, wiping out part of the solar forces. The moon mother’s knowledge of the tides had helped even the fight.
Three more Day mages charged the lines with fire in their eyes. They yelled louder and louder and blew themselves up, taking out a dozen witches on the southern flank.
All eyes were drawn toward the heavens. The skies grew dark as the Almighty Sun, the sun that always shines, was blocked and overpowered by the ever-changing Moon. Day turned into Night. The fireballs stopped. Men wept openly and were without power.
Did the witches and warlocks manage the inconceivable, stopping Luna in her tracks to overpower the sun?
He knew where he was. He was on the Avenue of the Skies. It was a broad pathway of large stones that ran east to west, with a Temple of the Sun at the East end of the pathway and a Temple of the Moon at the west end. Smaller pyramids for the other powers in the sky were on either side of him, lining the pathway between the two large temples at the ends. The Sun temple ruins to his left was larger than all the other temples combined. This was the Place of Reeds, an ancient set of ruins built long ago.
The ruins are neutral ground, where meetings used to be held between followers of the Sun and followers of the Moon. The hermit remembered his training. The original builders are unknown but assumed to be Sun worshippers because of the pyramids, which followers of the moon do not build. Many believe that Followers of the Sun built the entire place as a peace offering.
The ruins were originally signified by carved images of a bundle of reeds tied together with a cord. The original name has been long lost. It has long been referred to as the Place of Reeds. It is thought that the carvings signified it was a good place for growing food and that many people were welcome.
Eclipse
The Day mages were charged with anger. “Chase the witches all the way to the ocean if you have to!”
First rule of war: Choose the battlefield. They ‘retreated’ toward the shore, toward the ocean.
The witches knew. They were in touch with the phases of the moon. They knew what was coming. The Heliomancers only cared that the sun would rise each day.
The Old Moon, the Moon Aunts and the soon-to-be Moon Mother led the fight.
The water crashed further inland, wiping out part of the solar forces. The moon mother’s knowledge of the tides had helped even the fight.
Three more Day mages charged the lines with fire in their eyes. They yelled louder and louder and blew themselves up, taking out a dozen witches on the southern flank.
All eyes were drawn toward the heavens. The skies grew dark as the Almighty Sun, the sun that always shines, was blocked and overpowered by the ever-changing Moon. Day turned into Night. The fireballs stopped. Men wept openly and were without power.
Did the witches and warlocks manage the inconceivable, stopping Luna in her tracks to overpower the sun?
End
As you can see, the story is fleshed out, beginning, middle, and end are in there but still a lot of work to be done. Some of the terms are still in flux, as well as some of the hazards. But the main plot points are there. Now for the background. Some of this has changed a bit, but not by much, just some added details here and there.
Background
Our world back in the day (somewhere around Bronze Age perhaps), but magic exists. Magic is based solely on heavenly bodies, centered heavily around the Sun and Moon as the closest heavenly bodies. There are no other types of magic except those based on objects in the sky.
Mages of the other heavenly bodies (Mercury, Venus, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn) are too weak to be major players. They do have some powers though and will be used to reinforce the worldview.
Caste system
* Highest caste - Day Mages: Men born during the day near specific times. Strong sun magic, no moon magic. Gleaming gold this and that.
* Second highest caste - Moondaughters/Witches: Women born on specific nights. Strong in moon magic, depending. No sun magic. Silver this and mirror that.
* Low caste - Moonsons/Warlocks: Men born on specific nights. Weak/medium moon magic, never as strong as moondaughters. No sun magic. Some don’t use magic out of embarrassment. “Oh, don’t worry about him. He was born at night.”
* Lowest caste - The Untouched: Women born during the day. Weak moon magic if the moon is in the sky. No sun magic.
So any family can have children of all caste levels.
Two types of rulers, one Sun and one Moon. The sun ruler is kept or changed out by Challenge once a year at the summer solstice. Always male. A popular Sun can go many years without a Challenge, though the Challenge ritual is still performed. Suns rule as long as possible, until they are removed. This leads to a strong Sun who fights off challengers until he can no longer fight them off. They cannot rule again once removed and indeed, some do not survive the end of their reign.
The moon ruler, always female, is changed out every tenth new moon for a previous ruler (not the current one) or a new ruler. This results in a rotating set of Moon Mothers and Moon Aunts waiting to become Moon Mother again. The time of the new moon is chosen as the moment for leadership change for ancient, forgotten reasons (because solar eclipses happen only happen during a new moon)
Every six years, the Sun and Moon leadership change ceremonies happen at the same time:
1st year: June Summer solstice, Sun changes/stays the same. October, moon ruler changes.
2nd year: June Summer solstice, Sun changes/stays the same. August, moon ruler changes.
3rd year: June Summer solstice, Sun changes/stays the same. June, moon ruler changes. SAME MONTH
4th year: June Summer solstice, Sun changes/stays the same. April, moon ruler changes.
5th year: June Summer solstice, Sun changes/stays the same. February, moon ruler changes.
6th year: June Summer solstice, Sun changes/stays the same. December, moon ruler changes.
7th year: June Summer solstice, Sun changes/stays the same. October, moon ruler changes.
8th year: June Summer solstice, Sun changes/stays the same. August, moon ruler changes.
9th year: June Summer solstice, Sun changes/stays the same. June, moon ruler changes. SAME MONTH
The Sun: Source of the strongest magics
The Glorious Sun is male, the wise ones say, since only males can use sun magic. Sun magic was first and is the most powerful. Ancient petroglyphs proclaim the use of the sun by Neanderthals and other species of primitive man. Sun magic can only be performed while the caster is bathed in the sacred Sun’s rays, and is accomplished through prayers to the sacred sun names, dances (always sunwise - to the right), and blood sacrifices (a la Aztecs but not to ensure the rising of the Sun).
Sun worshippers are able to call for heat, fire, growth, beginnings, and illumination. Practitioners have been called at various times through history as: Sunservants / Daymages / Solars / Heliomancers / Pyretians? They are the most powerful magicians in the world, during the day. Their most powerful time is during the summer solstice, their weakest during the winter solstice, the shortest day of the year. Some create displays of light at night to show the Sun’s power to banish the darkness. There is a dangerous side to Sun worship, but it is not predominant.
How would our world change if sun and moon magic were real? Births outdoor during the day. maybe attempts to influence when babies are born.
Spells:
- Heat/Fire: damaging aspect of solar power
- Flame shield
- Immolation: Turn themselves into a fireball.
- Energetic: growth aspect of solar power on living things
- Invigorate
- Enlighten: illuminating aspect of solar power
- Can transmit Sun’s rays to another, perhaps to amplify the spell or send rays to someone in the shadows. Sunlight can be beamed from hilltop to hilltop in an emergency, like the war with the witches.
- The Invisible Sun
- Explains why you can feel the sun’s heat even through clouds.
- MORE?
Hilltops are sacred for sun magic. In some larger places, ziggurats (flat top pyramids) are built to honor the sun god. Clouds are their nemesis, and their worst fears can be found underground. Day mages come from babies born at sunrise, high noon, and sunset. Those born at sunrise are known as Dawners, nooners are strongest, and sunsetters are the longest-lasting. Efforts to influence the timing of births have backfired tremendously, though some families continue to try. Babies influenced to be born early or late end up having no ties to sun power.
Pieces of golden amber and sunflowers are sacred. Bits of amber are fallen pieces of the sun and can be used to cast spells. Sunflowers follow the track of the sun after all. Both store sunpower and may be used to replenish solars when they are weak. Amber needs to be recharged through sunbathing and or direct pouring in of sunlight. Full pieces of amber glow with a soft, golden light.
The Moon: Second most powerful magic
The Moon, second most powerful source of magic in the world. Those who worship the moon call on her for coolness, change, undead and other creatures of the night (bats), tides, hidden things. Undead can only be created at night. There is a dangerous side to moon magic but it is not predominant. Practitioners are called witches and warlocks. Some of the story hook will be from the 'traditional' aspect of the moon followers offset with the uniqueness of the Sun mages.
The moon doesn’t play favorites, both men and women can use her power. But her magic is weaker than the Sun’s. Moon magic may be cast while the moon is above the horizon, whether seen or unseen, by men and women. This is a source of much questioning, because there are many days when the moon is in the sky. So, although weaker, moon magic can be used both during the day and the night.
Men are the only ones who can cast either sun or moon magic, depending on when they are born (day or night), but women born during the day are powerless, unless the moon is in the sky when they are born. Women may only cast moon magic.
Moon magic is accomplished through spells painfully crafted over the years and written down in secretive books of shadows compiled by covens. The moon does not give up her secrets easily. There are a few ‘raw’ spells that can be cast under moonlight, much like solar spells. But the majority of moon spells must be buttressed by the secret recipes of hand positions, prayers, and items (wands, incense burned, etc.).
Sensitive moon mages can feel when the moon is in the sky. They are in touch with the phases and the rising and setting times, much more than Sun worshipers, who only watch the stretching of the day in the summer and its shrinking in the winter. This slow oscillation is seen as a constant battle between Day and Night. Babies born during the nights of the full moon and the new moon have power. Babies born at midnight of the full moon or midnight of the New Moon are stronger than others. A baby born during the new or full moon on the night of the winter solstice would be the strongest of all.
Silver is sacred to moon people.
Spells:
- Darkness / Coolness: Dark/Anti-sun aspect of the moon
- Change: Cyclical aspect of the moon
- Undead: create, control, etc…: Night aspect of the moon. Some say this is based on the craterous, damaged aspect of the moon.
- Control Creatures of the night (bats)
- Control water, Influence tides, Tsunami, etc…: influencing aspect of the moon
- Hidden things
- Call lightning
- Read shadows and Moonshadows: weak illuminating aspect of the moon.
The Other Players (Stars and the Little Wanderers):
Stars: People born at night sometimes have additional connections to the brightest stars in the sky (think nova’s or comets, etc…). Very rarely will someone be born when a comet is bright enough to be seen in the daytime. If so, and they are male, then they have additional energy connections.
The Planets (the Little Wanderers):
- Mars: War
- Aggressive, muscular,
- athletes, warriors
- Venus: Love
- Suave, smooth, pretty boys, girls
- Mercury: Messenger
- Some speed, quick of wit
- runners
- Jupiter: Command
- Largeness? Though unknown why, lol.
- Combination: It is not uncommon for children to be born when one, two, or even three of the planets are in the sky. Even then however, the combined magic is nowhere near that of the Moon and definitely not approaching that of the almighty Sun.
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